AKA: Walmart Wailing!  Target Tantrum!  Michael’s Meltdown!  Kohl’s Conniptions!

So you know where I’m going with this, right?!?

Has your child ever had one of those public displays of mania that happen when you’re running errands and have perhaps pushed him or her a tad too far?  Out of the car seat, into the cart, then out of the cart, and back into the car seat. Repeat, until your child loses their mind and throws a fit the world has never seen. Or so it seems to the mortified parent as EVERYONE in the store turns around to watch what you will do! (And btw, how do little kids know they have superpowers to embarrass you in public spaces?!)   So what DO you do when your child has a crying-jag at JoAnn’s or a blow up at Best Buy?
After years of experience and many tantrums under my belt, I have discovered three strategies for taming tantrums at Publix or the park.  Start with the easiest option first:
REDIRECTION
Simply put, you distract them with something to get them out of their mood. If you can get them to do something else or think about something else to interrupt the screaming, then the tantrum might cease! So, step one…
• Offer food or drink or pacifiers or bottles. The thinking here is that if they have something in their mouth, they will be happier. And this isn’t a bad idea- since sometimes kids ARE hungry or thirsty. So start there and see what happens. If the fruit snacks do the trick, you are golden!
• Or you might redirect by getting them to think about something totally unconnected to what the tantrum is about. Ignoring the crying, you point and say “Look at that beautiful princess costume!” Or “What show do you want to watch when we get home?” Or “Did you see the lady with the puppy in her purse?” These kinds of questions (non sequiturs) can interrupt the tantrum and help your child focus on something else or forget why they were crying in the first place.

But what if the food and drink and princess costume doesn’t work? What if they throw the pacifier out of the cart and spill the juice on the floor? The danger with redirection is that we can quickly go down the slippery slope into…

Bribery. We don’t like to call it bribery, but if you find yourself promising things you shouldn’t, you’ve probably gone a step too far! “OK, I’ll get you that expensive toy you want, just stop whining!” “Fine, you can have that candy bar – but it’ll rot your teeth out!”

Bribery aside, always try REDIRECTION or distraction first! It’s the simplest and fastest way to interrupt a tantrum.

But there are times when redirection does not work. All the Goldfish in the world will not placate a child who is approaching meltdown. If you tried redirection and your child is still in a tantrum, then you are left with two equal and opposite options.
I want to emphasize, none of the following options are failures on your part, nor is one better than another. Which one you choose totally depends on the circumstances. Let’s take a closer look, if redirection does not stem the tide of the tirade.
Option Two:
REMAIN
As in stay in the store and live with the crying.
First ask yourself, how important is the item you are getting? If you are picking up an important prescription and this is your only chance to get it, then you might remain at the store and do your best to ignore the whining (and the stares) and continue to the checkout, screamer in tow. This is not a failure as a parent if it’s an item you desperately need. You can’t control your child’s reactions, and sometimes enduring the screaming is your only option. But if you are at Target shopping for a new shower curtain (which may not be a critical item 😉 and your child throws a full blown tantrum, you may want to consider…     Choice Three:
RETREAT
AKA: Bail, Remove, and Run out of the store! As in leave your items in the cart (even that nice new shower curtain) pick up your screaming child, and head for the nearest exit and home.
Remember, retreat is not a failure. It always gets a bad rap, as if you are giving in to your child by leaving. I think we all know there is a difference between whining and tantrum. Whining is low level annoying and you can usually endure that for a while. But with a tantrum  there is no going back. The wisest thing you can do is get your unhappy child out of the store and head for home.
REDIRECT, REMAIN or RETREAT.
Those are your choices in a tantrum tirade, since little kids rarely pull out of a tantrum on their own.
REDIRECT. REMAIN. RETREAT. Keep whispering those three words to yourself as you enter the store of your choice so you’re ready for action no matter what happens!But no matter which you end up doing, once you get home after a Kohl’s  Conniption, you’ve got to do a few more R’s.
REGROUP and REPAIR. Wait for everyone to calm down once you’re home. Both you and your child need some space to get over what happened and reset! Have a cup of tea, settle them down with a nap or a nice show. After you’ve regrouped, then you can…
REFLECT. “Why in the world did that just happen?” You know your child. Was it too many errands in a row, too many transitions, not enough ‘kid-centric’ time? Was it past naptime, were they hungry, were they anxious? Could I see she was already on the edge?” Reflecting on the scene and considering ways to avoid it the next time may be the most important parent job you do.
Finally, formulate a plan to…
RE-DO. After reflecting on what happened, you may decide to make some changes to how you do errands so it has a happier ending.

*Maybe you shorten your to-do list when the kids are with you.
*Maybe you decide to do more of your shopping on line.
*Maybe you get a sitter when you want to do some leisurely shopping.
*Maybe you swear you will never shop with them again!! (Yeah, right!)

There is no perfect way to do it. You’ve got to balance what you need and want with the wants and needs of the little person who might accompany you.
Having a plan in your head (Redirect, Remain, or Retreat) before you run errands can make the difference in a good day and a bad day!
Because nothing ruins a fun time at Target like a tantrum! 😉