I asked two little girls recently how old they were. They each said “4 years old,” but then one of them quickly added, “But I like to pretend to be 5.”  (When you’re a kid, you always want to be one year older!) And then I said, “Well, if that’s the case, I’d like to pretend to be 29 again.”

But as soon as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true.   I don’t want to be 29 again. When I was 29, I had two little children and one more on the way and I was exhausted all the time.  I had little or no free time and spent my days doing laundry, picking up messes, and making meals.  When you have little children, you are in an intense season of life.  Your own needs get pushed to the side and the very vocal and immediate needs of your child take precedence most of the time. It feels like you never get a break; and maybe you don’t.

Is there a way to get through those long days and nights with your hope and your mind intact? I  think there is.

First, you have to EMBRACE the season.

And by EMBRACE, I mean acknowledge it, own it, make peace with it.  Realize that THIS is your new real life and that this is what you signed up for when you decided to have a baby.  It’s a life filled with joy and tenderness and snuggles. But it is also a life that is up-at-night, busy all day, and relentless at times.  Both parts are in the job description. In fact, you can’t get one without a little of the other.  So embrace and acknowledge this season you are in.

But take heart; remember that it is just a SEASON!   It can feel like forever when you are in it, but newborns don’t stay newborns forever; toddlers do grow out of the terrible twos, and preschoolers do leave the nest for kindergarten.  There is hope for the future because children grow, get more independent, and eventually get easier to raise.

But besides EMBRACING the season, you also need to find ways to ESCAPE the season.

Call it “self-care” call it “mindfulness,” call it 30 minutes at Starbuck’s alone; the most successful mothers take time for themselves.  I know that can sound like an oxymoron- taking a break from the never-ending work of being a mom.

But I will tell you from experience (as one who did not usually take a break) I would have been a happier mother, (and subsequently my kids would have been happier) if I had found a little time to escape the demands of motherhood occasionally and regroup.

Not necessarily a week- long trip to the Bahamas (although that sounds nice!)  But a regular routine of a ½ hour here or there where it was only about me.  A quiet cup of tea right after the baby went down for a nap, a head-clearing walk ALONE in the evening while my husband or a sitter watched the kids, a trip to Target without a child in the basket. Whatever “sanity” means to you, find a way to add that in small doses during your day. Challenge yourself to find 20 minutes today where you can just be alone with a beverage of your choice and take a much-needed break.

The season won’t last forever, but when you’re in it, you’re in it!! And you’re entitled to a break!!